When Should I Homeschool My Dyslexic Kid?

Many dyslexic kids can do fine in traditional schools with appropriate support and accommodations, but sometimes they need a bigger change. When is it right to homeschool your dyslexic kid?

Hey everyone, we're Nick and Sonja and this is Dyslexia Journey. And before we start in on today's topic, I also wanted to let you know that we welcome you to contact us with any topic ideas. If you have a suggestion for a guest and you want to connect us up with them, or even we're thinking to do some episodes around questions, viewer questions. So if you have just a particular burning question about dyslexia or your dyslexic kid, that would be something else that you could contact us about.

And we will put this in the description box as well. But our email is parentingdyslexiajourney at gmail.com. So today's topic, when is it the right time to consider homeschooling your dyslexic kid? So there's just a couple different areas and aspects of this for you to consider that we want to talk about today. And we'll start with some caveats towards just taking on the homeschooling journey in general, which is true for doing that really with any kid.

Yeah, so the first one is that obviously there has to be a parent or a guardian or responsible adult who is able to stay home with the kid. Or a combination of people. Right. It doesn't have to be one person the whole time, but it has to be at least one person all the time. So that's a big commitment, a time commitment. Right. So if you're a single parent working outside the home or if you're a dual parent, household, both working outside the home, this isn't necessarily going to be feasible for you.

And we totally understand that. Though there are some times before completely giving up the idea based on that, of course, it's good to research. Sometimes there's homeschooling groups where there is turn taking involved. So maybe it would be more feasible than you think. But just, you know, that is, of course, one of the probably the biggest barrier towards homeschooling is is just the time commitment and whether that's feasible or not. Right. Exactly.

So it also requires a great deal of patience. You know, teachers really have to be very patient and, you know, going through the process of teaching and, you know, finding the right ways that work for a kid, you know, dealing with different different levels of engagement and attention on any given day. So so just the experience of being a teacher is tricky and then sort of added into that, it's kind of being patient, it's being patient in a different way than you may be used to with your kid.

You know, perhaps you think, well, I'm used to being patient with them anyway, but it's this very different role. And so it kind of leads into another caveat, which is that sometimes it can be tricky for your kid to adjust to you being in that role as opposed to your role as a parent. Yeah, for sure. It's, you know, one way to think of this is is a lot of people might say, oh, well, if I wanted to be a teacher, I would have become a teacher.

Right. And and it's not that, you know, even if you are thinking that right now, I do want to encourage you not to completely disregard the option of homeschooling because it is very different than being in a classroom setting. Right. But there is, you know, definitely that that aspect to it, that patience that that some of us don't always have. Right. And then for the kids, sometimes so an advantage is that you perhaps do know they're learning style best.

It's you can often be that really one on one attention that maybe they're needing. But it's also true that there's a positive aspect sometimes for kids to have, you know, home as the place to come to, you know, and, you know, maybe they complain to you about school or, you know, just things being frustrating. So that having that separation also can be a good thing. So so that's something to consider, that that would be more given up, you know, if you're homeschooled.

Right. And then another issue to think about is that homeschooling does, in addition to the time that you're actually spending with your child, it takes extra effort and preparation to, you know, even if you're not running lessons in a traditional school type way, you still need to figure out, you know, what enrichment activities do they need so that they can be learning during this time. And that that takes time and effort.

Right. And even making those decisions at the beginning, are you going to use a curriculum? Are you doing it very differently? Like even all that takes a lot of planning and effort. And, you know, and always feeling like you're not quite sure what the best thing is so that that goes along with it, too. And then depending on the age of the kid and the subject matter, you may need to get some outside tutoring or some outside help in specific subjects, no matter what, in certain specialized areas.

So that's another thing to consider as well. Yeah. So maybe now would be a good time to kind of share our own experience with homeschooling. Just so, you know, we have our daughter who has dyslexia and she's in high school now. And we talk about her a lot on the show. And we homeschooled her for about a year when she was, I think, around seven years old. Is that correct? That's right.

Yeah. And it was we definitely learned a lot that year. It was an interesting experience. We learned more than she did. Yeah. I think is what we're trying to say. Yes. And so, yeah, I mean, we don't claim to be experts on homeschooling. Like I said, we have some experience with it. But so, you know, we'll try and make this a general discussion. But obviously, it's shaped by our own experience with it.

Right, right. And I mean, I think it brings up another caveat, because why do I say that? So she was pretty resistant at that time. And it was because, you know, had gotten to a point where she needed a change. And so that's why we ended up doing homeschooling as the initial thing that we did. But also, because of what had gone on, you know, at the public school she was at and feeling resistant to school, it wasn't going to just immediately shift over into, you know, because it kind of had sometimes generalizes, right, to a resistance to learning and to any kind of schooling.

And so, yeah, it's like she needed kind of a decompression break first. And, you know, we ultimately didn't continue with homeschooling. And instead, we made a completely different change, you know, actually ended up having her go to private school. And a very different one, actually, at first, I won't go into all the details of it. But so it really changed things up. So I still maintain that she needed the change. But I think it's worth, you know, knowing that it might not go as you expect.

And I think the key point there is to think of it as a journey. You know, it is, we call it Dyslexia Journey for a reason. So it doesn't mean to not try to take steps, but, you know, it doesn't, but you may still just be in the process of figuring out what's the right thing, even as you attempt something like that. Right. Yeah. So our experience, an outside observer looking, kind of watching that year would, might not have considered it a success.

We consider it a very much a success because I think she needed that time to recover from the trauma of, of her early school experiences because of her dyslexia in order to regain her ability to, and interest in learning. So from that sense, it was a success, but it was, again, it didn't, it didn't look like she was learning in the traditional sense much during that year. Right. Right. And then I guess this sort of leads into, to like, what are some warning signs that your kid maybe needs a big shift, such as potentially homeschooling?

So I mentioned resisting. So that can be resisting learning and doing anything associated. It can actually be, you know, really resisting going to school in the morning. Yeah. So the second warning sign would be if they're actually regressing academically. I guess stagnating or regressing, let's say, in our case, her daughter was actually literally regressing. like this was toward the end of her, I guess, first grade year. She was seven, or six and then seven.

and she was actually doing even in stuff that you wouldn't think was related to dyslexia. By the end of that first grade year, she was less, appeared less capable like in math than she had at the beginning of the year. Mm-hmm. Right. Exactly. And so, I mean, that could be attributed to lots of different things, you know, losing confidence, the resistance, you know, but basically she was regressing even in math, which leads into the next potential warning sign, which is that you might notice that they're losing confidence and so that can sort of just be a general seeming like they seem really hesitant and like uncertain about their capability of doing something.

it can show up in a lot of different ways. and then an extreme, which basically is a warning sign of its own is, you know, if they start to feel dumb or call themselves dumb, that kind of thing. Definitely. another more subtle warning sign is if they're almost always in a worse mood after school than before. and some of that is normal. I mean, they might be tired from school. They might be, you know, there might be some stresses, but generally, like, especially in the early years, kids who are sort of doing, doing okay in school aren't going to be in terrible moods after school every day.

So there's something going on there, right? You know, so it's definitely worth investigating in some way. And then some factors in the environment that may be warning signs that the environment just isn't going to work for your kid are if, you know, you're having trouble with the teacher being understanding or accommodations, or, you know, I don't know if your kid may or may not be identified at this point, but just that sort of feeling like there isn't the support there, or understanding with either the specific teacher or the administration, could be a sign that they need a change.

and also things like, relationships with peers, if there's maybe bullying going on or that kind of thing, like if they are being called dumb or, or being made fun of for their academics, something like that, that, of course it's possible sometimes to handle that in the moment, but just depending on how it's going and how extreme it is and how much your kid's associating it with that school, sometimes it is the best thing to make a big change.

Right. And that's not to say that you can't work with teachers, you can't work with administrations, you can't, address bullying. Like all of that is true, but sometimes, and I encourage you not to think of this as, as giving up sometimes though, a change of environment, it is actually the best thing. you know, and again, it's, it's not giving up. It's not that you couldn't make that environment work, but if you're able to, sometimes a change can really just reset things.

Right. And I think, you know, in considering it, your parental intuition is probably going to take you the farthest in deciding, okay, like, would it just really help to reset things here as much as possible? but alternatives of course, would be to keep working with the school. Maybe your kid isn't identified yet. maybe there's more accommodations that can be done, you know, all kinds of, there can be like that as the first line of when in considering whether you want to help school or not, and then even if you've decided they need a big shift, there could be another alternative.

For example, there can be, there could just be switching to a different school, whether it's in the same district or a different district, whether it's private or public, private schools often have a little more one-to-one and smaller class ratios sometimes can help and like often a different feel to them. They can be expensive. Sometimes there's scholarships available, but it's just something to consider. but also there are, often in the United States, at least, alternative schools within the public school system.

so within the, kind of charter, charter school programs, in various states, there are, Waldorf schools and Montessori schools, for example, that are actually public schools. so definitely look into, and you know, we're not endorsing any particular, methodology here. It's just that the Waldorf, and I think they're called Steiner schools in Europe, and, and Montessori tend to be the most common alternative type schools around. when, if you're looking for a particular change, if you're looking to try to make it be a big change, in terms of feel for the kid, because they're, they're, they have very different styles of how they teach material, that, that of course, just in and of itself would provide a big change.

Right, and just a caveat that, in our case, we actually did try switching our daughter to a, a public Waldorf school, before we started homeschooling her, and that didn't work out, I think primarily because she was already so, I guess traumatized from being in school at all that she needed even a bigger change than that. Right, and I guess that's part of, that could be part of the thing too, is if you do find that your kid needs a big break, you know, just know that's not forever, you know, and try to, like, be relaxed about it, that they just need to decompress and they need some time to, to reset, but even if it takes months, that's, that can be important, and so try and have to panic about that if that, if that does end up happening, as you start to homeschool or even with a different switch.

okay, well, so, that kind of wraps up, you know, what signs to look for when you, or what signs might indicate that your child could benefit from homeschooling, some things to consider before you take on homeschooling, and then, you know, we also talked about some alternatives to consider instead of homeschooling. so just, just a few last notes here on homeschooling to wrap up. one is that, we are obviously in the United States, so we're most familiar with the laws here.

as far as we know, it's, it is your right as a parent, to homeschool your child in, most jurisdictions. But you do need to let the school district know, usually. You need to let them know what the plan is. Yeah, you can't just, your child can't just stop going to school. Right. You have to go register and fill out a form, usually with the, the school district. And then just a final note, you know, we're, we're telling you some of the caveats right up front here in our own, in our own journey with it, which, you know, perhaps wasn't ideal.

but, you know, we want to encourage you to really consider these kinds of big changes and what's right for you and for your kid. and remembering that you can also try to enlist support, whether it's like a homeschooling group to get the social activities or, you know, perhaps there's some turn taking with particular subjects, whether it's friends or family. there are a lot of resources once you start to look into it also available to you.

So we just want to encourage you in that regard as well. Yeah, definitely. I mean, if there's a grandparent around who can help out even just for a few hours, it doesn't have to be everyone who, not everyone who helps out has to be instructing your child. I mean, if there's, you know, if they're young and there's a grandparent who can just read to them for a couple hours a week to give you a break, like that's very helpful.

Right. Right. So just know there's lots of resources out there and just different ways that, you know, it's going to look different for everybody as to what those exact resources are, but different ways to, to make it work. So hopefully this was helpful. Let us know again, just either in the comments or, you know, if you want to send us that email, if you have any further questions or if you want to share any of your own journey.